Kind of like the Trackers my thirst for love resulted in me hurting innocent people and developing some odd eating habits AKA an Eating Disorder. Like the Trackers a diet based solely on blood isn’t balanced and for me a diet based solely on water and carrots isn’t balanced either, unless you’re a bunny (and I ain't packin' a fury tail) my quest for love got me very, very, very sick…
They say “Love makes you do crazy things” and I would have to agree. I don’t think I’m the first girl to ever say this, but I somehow got the idea stuck in my head that if I was just “Beautiful” enough I would get the love that I longed for. I thought that if/when I was “Beautiful” my friends would finally be nice and chill, my parents would get off my back, I would get the boyfriend I wanted, the job I deserved and the straight A’s I needed and I would also stop getting $45 tickets for not moving my car when it was street sweeping day. Seven years on the pursuit for beauty and I ended up with 3 (count em’ 3) Eating Disorders. Anorexia, Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating as well as some bonus prizes called, unemployed, health complications, debt and losing patches of my hair...not so pretty eh?
It may sound silly to you, but at the end of these seven years looking at what a mess my life was I couldn’t help but feel deceived. I felt like a fool who had paid to be led through the desert with the promise of a finding a magical waterfall only to be left abandoned, broke and dying and really, really hungry. To put it lightly, I was PISSED! And a very hot mess at that.
And then a miracle happened... at the same time I was in the most excruciating pain of my life, I met a group of women who befriended me solely for the reason of telling me I was BEAUTIFUL.
Even when I felt like a loser and didn’t have a job they told me I was BEAUTIFUL, when my hair was falling out from malnutrition they told me I was BEAUTIFUL, even when I couldn’t stop my Eating Disorder behaviors they told me I was BEAUTIFUL. When I would cry before eating dinner they would tell me I was BEAUTIFUL. When I gained weight they told me I was still BEAUTIFUL. The good, the bad and the ugly, they told me I was BEAUTIFUL no matter what I did. Slowly, but surely I started to believe that I truly am BEAUTIFUL exactly the way I was created. I also learned that being BEAUTIFUL really has absolutely nothing to do with the way you look and everything to do with the way you treat people and most importantly how you treat yourself.
Today I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am one smokin’ hot and BEAUTIFUL lady. But, not because of the size of my jeans. I am BEAUTIFUL because I am honest, I am kind, I am an amazing friend, a talented writer, faithful, patient (70% of the time) and a survivor. And I only believe that because someone took the time to REWRITE BEAUTIFUL for me.
My life is walking, brunette miracle! And today I'm proud to say, "I'm a Tracker" because of how I see the world differently after this experience...
I have some pretty awesome jobs, I am a writer, I work with girls in rehab for Eating Disorders, I teach Art and I nanny. I have a unique perspective on all types of women. From the toddler who knows she's beautiful because her mommy says so, to the art student who is feeling a little self concious about her body not looking like what she thinks it "should" look like. To the women who have husbands who have left them because they refuse to eat. I pray every day that the toddler I spend time with never feels that she is anything less than beautiful, but the reality is I know that there are still 1 Million women in the USA alone who have Eating Disorders and can not see themselves as BEAUTIFUL and need my help (and maybe your help too :) ).
Imagine the women out there still searching, tracking and literally dying in pursuit of the love that they think superficial beauty can bring, but never delivers. You can CHANGE the way women see beauty in themselves.
1.) Submit Street Art
2.) Tell your friends about REWRITE BEAUTIFUL
3.) Tell your girlfriend/ daughter/ wife/ mom/ sister/ co-worker what you think makes her truly BEAUTIFUL today!
I hope you do.
Love, REWRITE BEAUTIFUL Woman